Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. There is no universal answer as to when it is the “right” time, as every relationship and situation is unique. However, here are some factors to consider:

You do not need to hire a private investigator...

Or hack into her phone to work out if something has changed.

You just need to stop,

Observe,

And pay attention to what is right in front of you.

When women cheat...

They often do not get sloppy.

They get smarter.

They edit.

They alter.

And if you are paying attention

The shift is usually right there in their...

conversation.

If you are wondering whether your husband is cheating ...

Do not bother checking his phone...

or...

Grilling his friends.

Just stop and think.

What is the one thing that changes when a man’s attention is no longer fully on his wife?

It is not always how much time he spends at work.

Or how often he looks at his phone.

Or even how much more carefully he is dressing.

The number one sign?

This is not a condemnation of the whole male population... but estimates now say that 35% of men on dating sites such as Bumble are already in a relationship.

That's a lot.

Over a third of men on dating sites are lying to you about their relationship status... apart from the few who openly admit it of course.

I have uncovered a few more clues:

It’s a question that piques both curiosity and concern:

Who is the number one person women cheat with?

While the answer might vary depending on individual circumstances...

Research and real-world observation...

Especially from the vantage point of a divorce solicitor...

paint a surprisingly consistent picture.

And the answer isn't always what people expect.

It’s Not Just About Sex... It’s About Feeling Seen

Contrary to popular belief...

When women cheat...

It’s often not because they're looking for casual excitement...

or physical gratification.

Instead, it’s usually driven by emotional dissatisfaction.

As someone who has helped thousands of clients through divorce proceedings...

One pattern comes up repeatedly...

Here's the Truth No One Likes to Say Out Loud

When it comes to infidelity in relationships,

many people automatically picture some mysterious stranger...

or a new, seductive person who enters the picture out of nowhere.

But in reality, the number one person that men often cheat with...

isn’t some unfamiliar fling...

it’s usually someone much closer to home...

their ex.

Yes, their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife.

Think back for a moment.

If you’ve been in a relationship where you were cheated on...

and you look closely at who he cheated with...

there’s a high chance it was someone from his past.

And this isn’t just a random coincidence...

it’s a pattern.

A surprisingly common one.

So why is this?

You suspect your wife is cheating.

You have noticed the shift.

Her language has changed.

Her habits are off.

Something in your gut says this is not right.

You are probably feeling confused,

angry,

and betrayed.

But before you act out of emotion...

You need to get smart.

You need to protect yourself...

Not just emotionally...

But legally and financially too.

As an ex-divorce solicitor...

I have seen how suspicion turns into war.

The goal now is to be calm,

clear,

and strategic.

Here is what you need to do.

Self-Care During Divorce: It’s Not a Luxury... It’s Survival

Divorce is one of the most stressful things you’ll ever face.

The legal process is draining.

The emotional fallout is worse.

If you don’t take care of yourself, everything else suffers...

your health,

your decisions,

your future.

Here’s what real self-care looks like during a divorce.

You suspect your wife is cheating.

You have noticed the shift.

Her language has changed.

Her habits are off.

Something in your gut says this is not right.

You are probably feeling confused,

angry,

and betrayed.

But before you act out of emotion...

You need to get smart.

You need to protect yourself...

Not just emotionally...

But legally and financially too.

As an ex-divorce solicitor...

I have seen how suspicion turns into war.

The goal now is to be calm,

clear,

and strategic.

Here is what you need to do.

Do their reasons differ from men?

Surprisingly they do.

While cheating is wrong regardless of gender, understanding the reasons behind it can be valuable for addressing relationship problems. Here are 5 common reasons why women cheat:

1. Emotional Dissatisfaction

• Lack of emotional intimacy: This is frequently cited as a primary reason. Women may seek emotional connection and support outside the relationship if they feel unheard, unappreciated, or emotionally neglected by their partner.

• Feeling disconnected: A lack of emotional intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness and a desire for someone who understands and connects with them on a deeper level.

While cheating is never justified, understanding the underlying reasons why it happens can be helpful in addressing relationship issues. Here are 5 common reasons men cheat:

1. Lack of Emotional Intimacy:

• Feeling disconnected: Men may seek emotional connection and validation outside the relationship if they feel their emotional needs are not being met at home. This can involve feeling unheard, unappreciated, or lacking a sense of closeness with their partner.

• Difficulty expressing emotions: Some men may struggle to express their emotions openly, leading to a sense of isolation and a search for someone who understands them on a deeper level.

When is divorce a good thing?

There are many reasons.

Personal Growth

How so?

Maybe you've been stuck in a rut for years.

Maybe you've been stuck in a stagnant, comfort zone of misery.

Maybe you lost yourself in the sadness of an unhealthy existence.

Divorce can force you to re-evaluate.

To take stock of your life.

Change.

Improve.

Maybe even and here's the buzz phrase of the day...

Glow up.

It may help you to get to know yourself.

Understand who you are.

Embrace your faults.

Accept them at least and embrace your assets.

And you may even dive into a sense of self-awareness you never knew was possible.

It might not be as bad as you think.

According to this study...

Focusing on someone new relieved the anxiety of missing your ex.

Their longing for their ex was disrupted.

Maybe.

Or maybe this was just a side-effect of time playing out.

We all know the line. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with. It's supposed to be optimistic. Accepting. Wise.

But what if it’s nonsense?

Lots of people I speak to in divorce are still quietly grieving the one they really loved.

Not the person they married.

Often not even the person they lived with.

But someone else.

A past relationship they never got over.

A path not taken.

A version of themselves that no longer exists.

They tell themselves they moved on.

They settled down.

What is a Consent Order?

This post was originally written and posted on my previous blog in August 2006.

Legal points are still valid.

This post received many views and was used by Google to define a Consent Order.

A Consent Order is the legal document by which financial matters are finalised on divorce.

Without this, you are vulnerable to your partner making a financial claim years later.

Why Women Cheat...

It’s Not What You Think

Most men assume women cheat because they’re “crazy” or irrational. That’s often the word they use.

She’s emotional.

She’s moody.

She changes her mind.

She flips from warm to cold overnight.

But calling her crazy isn’t an explanation.

It’s a reaction.

What’s really going on is deeper,

and if you don’t understand it,

you risk losing your relationship without even seeing it coming.

Women Cheat Because of Feelings, Not Logic

Men tend to use logic to assess situations.

They think in systems,

patterns,

processes.

So when their partner’s behaviour doesn’t follow that logic...

when she starts arguments,

withdraws affection,

or becomes distant...

This can be soo scary even to think about.

Maybe you put on a brave face...

Even with yourself.

So much denial.

You pretend to your friends you are okay.

Pretend to your family everything is fine.

Maybe even pretend to your partner things are good.

But...

Secretly...

Fed up?

Bored?

Lonely in your relationship?

Dislike your spouse?

Can't stand your partner?

Repulsed by their presence?

Annoyed by their every word?

Bored by their jokes?

Annoyed by their faults?

Hate their habits?

Fed up of their family?

Really tired of looking at them?

Feeling sad?

Lonely?

Depressed?

Need to do something?

Deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. There is no universal answer as to when it is the "right" time, as every relationship and situation is unique. However, here are some factors to consider:

Consider the seriousness of the problems

• Abuse: If there is any form of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, or financial), it is crucial to prioritise your safety and well-being. In such cases, seeking help and considering separation or divorce is important.

Deciding whether someone is ready to get divorced is a deeply personal process and can vary greatly from individual to individual. Here are several factors to consider when reflecting on this significant life choice:

Signs You Might Be Ready for Divorce

1. Loss of Communication:

   • Effective communication is key in any relationship. If attempts to talk and resolve issues have repeatedly failed, it may signal that the relationship is no longer healthy.

The Surprising Truth Behind This All-Too-Common Betrayal

When we think of cheating, we often imagine a secretive affair with someone new...

a stranger who tempts someone out of their committed relationship.

But in many cases, the truth is far more familiar and, in some ways, more painful...

men often cheat with their ex...

Why?

The reasons may not be romantic, but they are rooted in accessibility, emotional familiarity, and convenience.

Let’s break it down.